Being a psychotherapist as well as a Black gay man myself, I have come to realize in dating and meeting various people there are a few major shared trauma responses and barriers that hinder us from establishing heathy, long-lasting relationships. As a result of being hurt by people who should have loved us (i.e. parents, friends, family, caregivers, institutions, first lovers), we develop “cognitive distortions'' and “unhealthy attachment styles” which are responsible for creating the ten main barriers to relationship building which I address in the following pages of this course.
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